You pretend to feel good to yourself: how wonderful is the relationship, how wonderful is the man or the woman. It represses the fear, so on the surface you feel good - at least you try to feel good. “The illusion gives a certain solace, but it cannot create the reality so that all fear disappears. Today you are friends - who knows about tomorrow? Tomorrow you may be strangers again - hence the pain. Yesterday you did not know this man or this woman, you were strangers. But this is the problem: although you can forget for a moment your loneliness, just the next moment you suddenly become aware that the relationship or the friendship is nothing permanent. “And while you are in the relationship you can create a little illusion to forget your loneliness. On the one hand you are clinging to something which is not for real, which is just a temporary arrangement - a relationship, a friendship. You feel lonely so you want to cling to something, to somebody, to some relationship, just to keep the illusion that you are not lonely. “Because you don’t know your aloneness, there is fear. And nobody has yet tried to make an existential dictionary which will not be contradictory to existence. Loneliness and aloneness in the dictionaries are synonymous, but existence does not follow your dictionaries. You have not experienced your aloneness and its beauty, its tremendous power, its strength. And once light comes, anything that was its absence automatically disappears. You have to work for the light because it is positive, existential it exists on it own. You can go on fighting with this darkness your whole life and you will not succeed, but just a small candle is enough to dispel it. But simply because light was not there, you got a false feeling of the existence of darkness. “So just bring in light and you will not find darkness at all, because it was the absence of light, simply the absence of light - not something material, with its own being, not something that exists.
There is no point it does not exist, it is simply an absence. You don’t even touch the darkness you don’t think about it. Now that changes the whole situation and that’s what I call one of the essentials, fundamentals. There is no possible way to make any arrangement so that the darkness disappears.
“Now what do you do when you want the room not to be dark? You don’t do anything directly with darkness - or do you? You cannot push it out. The reason is that all these things do not exist they are simply absences of something, just as darkness is the absence of light.
This is one of the fundamentals: you cannot fight with darkness directly, with loneliness directly, with the fear of isolation directly. It is something essential for everyone to understand, that there are a few fundamental things which cannot be changed. “The darkness of loneliness cannot be fought directly. How do we break this blackness that surround the fear of aloneness and allow the bliss of aloneness that you radiate with every single breath? 10 min read Every tear I have ever shed comes from this pain: loss and the fear of isolation or separation.